03) Stress and the Family - Continued - November 13, 2007 @ 6:30pm Westside Baptist Church Room # 4c-6c
Session #3
STRESS AND THE FAMILY
Proverbs 11:29 (NIV)
29 He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind,
and the fool will be servant to the wise.
Job versus Family
Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NIV)
9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.
Develop a servant’s attitude toward your spouse.
Destructive Stress
Despite all the attention given Police Stress, NOTHING is as destructive as stress at home that is left unattended.
Studies suggest that Law Enforcement divorce rates could be as high as 75%!!
Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)
22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
It all comes down to how we prioritize….
Small Group Scripture
Luke 14:26 (NLV)
26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.
Continued on 11/13/2007
Where is God in your marriage?
Number 30:2 (NIV)
2 When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said.
When we are married, we are “united as one.”
Place God FIRST in your marriage/relationships…
THINGS TO REMEMBER
Keep GOD FIRST!!
Pray Together
Respect and honor each other
Encourage each other to grow together
Read the Bible together and much as possible
Attend Church services and Bible study
Be swift to hear and slow to speak
Make time to communicate with each other
Protect and honor your marriage vows
DO NOT LET OTHERS COME BETWEEN YOU
Thank God everyday for your mate and the life you have
Understand that “love” is choice and not a feeling.
CHOOSE EVERYDAY TO LOVE YOUR MATE!
Our Sinful Nature
The absence of God in our lives allows sinful nature to permeate our household and destroy our family bond.
NEVER treat your family members as you would a suspect or those you meet on the street. Treat them BETTER than you would the Sheriff’s wife or Chief’s mother.
Galatians 5:19-21 (NIV)
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the
We must be respectful of our spouses and family!
1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)
7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Small group questions and discussion
Could you forgive your spouse if he or she told you to “Go sit on the curb?”
Have you ever, in a moment of anger, treated your spouse as if he or she were a suspect?
Have you ever used police lingo or terminology common only to those in law enforcement with your family?
What can you do to overcome treating your spouse as a suspect?
What can you do to avoid bring home the stress of the job?
As a law enforcement officer, I tend to treat people I encounter at work with more respect than I do with my own family. TRUE / FALSE
Practicing the Fruits of the Spirit
If you were to list the character traits of your ideal mate, what would they be?
Galatians 5:22-26 (NIV)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
The Bible Tells us to Practice These Qualities
Practice being compassionate in your home.
Practice being kind to each other.
Practice being humble and giving others their way.
Practice being gentle with the words we say.
Practice being patient with the entire family.
Practice communication with your family and spouse.
FORGIVE whatever your family member, co-worker (or anyone else) has done to you.
Small Group Discussion – Faithfulness
One of the Fruits of the Spirit outlined in Galatians is FAITHFULNESS; a cornerstone trait in a successful marriage and spiritual life. There are four commitments that develop your faithfulness.
Fill in the blanks:
Make a commitment to _______________________ in my _______________________.
Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Prov 5:15 (NLV)
Make a commitment to _______________________ in the _______________________.
Help, O Lord, for the godly are fast disappearing! The faithful have vanished from the earth! Psalm 12:1 (NLV)
Make a commitment to _______________________ in __________________________.
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4 (NLV)
Make a commitment to ___________________________________ what God has given.
Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful. 1
What is the re-occurring theme? Why do you think _____________________________ is so important to being and staying faithful to God and your spouse?
Forgiveness
Luke 6:37 (NIV)
37“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Forgiveness is given, but trust is earned!!
Small Group Scripture
Review the previous two passages.
Who has committed a sin against you that you have nor forgiven?
What sins have you committed that you would like to have forgiven?
What do you find the most difficult in forgiving others?
Relating to your Children
Why so you think pastors and law enforcement officers and teachers are believed to have the worst behaved kids?
Figure the rules will be automatically expected? Osmosis?
There is nothing stronger than a bond between parent and child. Why is it taken for granted?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
Train [a] a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)
4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
SOME HELPFUL TIPS FOR A
Have Peace
Allow God to give your home a peaceful atmosphere. Peace does not rely on circumstance, but is a decision on your part that rests in your heart. How can your heart be at peace? Get God’s word into your heart. The Word will teach you and give you wisdom!
Worship
Take time to sing and worship God every day. Christian music can heal a stressed out heart. Get connected. Attend a worship service or participate in a small group as much as possible. Get your children and your family involved in Church.
Be Thankful
Be grateful and thankful for what He has already done in your home. When we constantly focus on the negative, we forget what good things God has already done!
Give God Honor
What ever you do, remember to always bring glory and honor to God.
Make Commitments
Make a commitment to work together as a family. Every member has a responsibility to bring peace and unity into the home. As we all do our part, stress will leave and peace, love and joy will come rushing into our homes.
Love
Love your spouse and speak gently to him or her. A husband (or wife) should never start flirting with another woman (or man), and should NEVER stop flirting with their own spouse.
Children
Finally, parents should not expect their children to make adult decisions. Remember when we were teens, we made dumb mistakes. Why? Because we were kids! When they blow it, forgive them and continue to teach them right from wrong. Don’t expect children to know things when you don’t take the time to teach them.
Parents, never abandon your Godly responsibilities to your children. Officer, never put the job and shift work ahead of families best interests. Never create stress or allow the stress found in your job to enter the SANCTITY of your marriage or your family.
YOU OWE IT TO BOTH THEM AND GOD!!
No matter where they are tonight…If you can…Hug your spouse…Hug your children and tell them you love them. Even if it is in front of other people.